Hello, all!
I can actually now say, I have officially turned forty, Saturday just gone. If you’re wondering how it went, the right people were there to celebrate with me and made my night special, so any of you reading this blog, Mwaaaaah to you!
I have spoken about being forty, I have publically announce myself writing a book, but I have never spoke about the mindset you develop when you get older. I am talking about the way you think and perceive people around you. I remember when I was younger I had a lot of people around me, I could never understand people that spent time on their own, I simply didn’t get it, but that was then, now I so get it.
Firstly having a lot of people around you can be a good thing, but also a bad thing. When I refer to the good thing, I am merely insinuating to the loyal people, who generally have your back and best interest at heart and enjoy you for being ‘you’. When I am referring to the bad thing about having a lot of people in your life, I am merely referring to those people, whom are not loyal and don’t have your best interest at heart, but want to jump on the bandwagon and know what is happening in your life, to benefit theirs. These people have traits like, falseness and most likely speak behind your back. Before you ask I am fine, this is not a blog to express my vent on this kind of behaviour, more on the terms of exploring why people are like this. I have always had the gift of seeing through people true colours and at times, well a few times I have chosen not to see through people like this just to hold the peace, because once I start I can’t stop and believe me I have been placed in this position many times. I have learned more so, that people like this do not serve a purpose in my life if anything is draining. They say as you get older you tend to tolerate less shit in your life, this also reflects on people around you and how you deal with them, I can confirm it’s true. More so as you get older, you realise how many people around you are narcissists- some will class the meaning as someone who just is never wrong with their words and actions. The truth is the other meaning describing the word narcissism also refers to someone who thinks they are of celebrity status, life owes them this lifestyle, therefore, this makes them more prominent in believing their needs are far more worthy than yours, but the question here is is it? Narcissists also have a manipulating side to them, I can honestly say I have been a victim of this many of times. I can give you many examples, but I will stick with one: I had someone come into my life, at the start I do what I do with everyone I meet, not judge them but accept them for who they are and not what they got. Anyways, whilst this person came into my life over a short period of time, I could feel that people around me and who knew this person, were acting very offish with me. When you don’t feel you have to justify people strange behaviours towards you, you simply place it in the side and trust in you that you have not said anything, acting disrespectful to individuals. I can confirm this paid off, being a nice person who has a good heart, people see this in the end and it blinds out other people’s negative perspective of you, not to mention the truth comes out. I could say these people are draining, manipulating with their actions, but I won’t. instead, I like to thank these people for showing me their true colours and now I am not wasting any of my valuable time with people that don’t deserve it, I can invest it in people that do. Furthermore, it’s not my problem if these individuals have insecurities most likely stemmed from childhood experiences and have not corrected their issues and still continue to have the same pessimistic outlook as they did a few years back. What I will say and most likely will be the best advice, is to talk to a counsellor who can make these individuals see their faults, rather than placing them on others, as this now has become a mental health issue that needs addressing, the longer you leave it the longer it get worse and it’s not only the individuals problem, to them it’s everyone else’s.
Yes your friends get lesser as you get older, but the beauty is some rather remarkable people enter your life, you can see straight to the point who is of value to you, in respect of being loyal, plus has your best interest at heart, supposed to the negative people you once had.
I can now see clearly why certain stuff has happened in my life, it’s basically been a learning curve and has prepared me for my future role in only allowing, good honest and kind people in my life.
You tend to grow out of people and the sad thing is this tends to be people you have most likely known for most of your life. It’s not like before when you was in the playground playing away, without a care in the world. We all get older and have responsibilities but this does not give some people the right to hate on others achievements, this, unfortunately, is a very low quality but actually happens and a lot, so it goes to show sometimes not all the time you didn’t really know that individual in the first place, well that’s the assumption I have come to.
I remember a day before turning forty, my cousin who is in her fifties, was telling me how great the ’40’s’ is as you tend to take less crap supposed to before. Well, I can say I never took any crap from a young age so being vocal has always been on my agenda, the only difference is I see the signs quicker now, rather than wasting my energy I just switch off from that individual.
Being positive and having a positive outlook on life, draws good things to your path, it’s all about believing and staying focus. This also has great benefits to your health and personal relationship. I mean who wants to be around someone who refuses to see the good in any given situation.
I would write more on this subject, but I will save it for the next blog!
Till then keep healthy, positive and happy :-))