Why I am writing this blog
Recently a friend posted on faceBook and attached a link to an article.
Titled:
‘Larger size woman dating an athletic built man’. Declaring to the world how her man loves her curves and doesn’t mind her size.
Naturally reading it, you would think wow, see you don’t have to have that bikini body to attract them guns.
Reverse the tables round, would you read an article in the papers entitled, ‘slim girl dates an athletic man’?
No, you wouldn’t, as it’s an expected norm for slimmer women to attract that athletic built, hottie.
It’s like saying, that larger woman dating men who have guns is not a norm, it’s worthy of an article.
Let’s give them some sympathy and praise them for actually finding a man as a bonus one who has guns.
This was the point my friend was trying to put across, her being petite built, stating how bigger women always get the sympathy card.
The sympathy wasn’t based on the women being bigger on her part. It was based on her side being tiny and receiving semi-negative comments.
Her point was, that small women, don’t get given a sympathy card because they are slim, it’s alright for them, wheres the article for that?
The truth is Slim women are stereotyped and you rarely read any articles to the negative struggles they face just for being slim.
Relating to both sides, being 15 stones and losing a lot of weight, I have experienced it myself.
My experience of being a bigger woman:
I have experienced what it is like to be bigger, once weighing 15 stones.
Did I honestly like being bigger?
The truth, I hated it to the point, I couldn’t look at myself naked for a year in the mirror.
I really honestly admire women who are larger, wearing tight mini dresses, basically not giving a shit.
My hatred for being bigger didn’t stem from other women and men taking the piss out of my size, yes I experienced that.
Nor was I envious of slimmer women body, either.
Me personally, I saw a person who was unhealthy, not confident and sad, within her skin.
Walking and the top of my legs rubbing together, forming a slapping sound the faster I walked.
Clothes I wanted to wear, I had no confidence and dreaded going on holiday because of the thought of wearing a bikini.
Looking back now I brought that accumulated weight gain, after experimenting with quite a lot of fad diets on the market.
I can only blame myself for past choices, but at the same time, I can correct, which I did.
Certainly never played the sympathy card because of my size either.
Remembering back when I was bigger, I had the vision to be slimmer fitter and healthier before I hit my thirties.
My experience of being slim:
I am now forty, soon to be 41 and have never felt fitter and healthier than before.
Lifestyle changes were made and followed through, not for the short run but long, and I chose this route.
So I made that change, in my lifestyle and within a year my appearance.
Despite busting my butt, investing into my health, I got hated on: It’s like this.
Always get that someone playing the victim, comparing your physique to theirs, trying to make you feel bad when you worked for it.
My experience, this always comes from someone who is outta of shape physically and has no willpower to correct.
No one told that person, to scoff their faces with lard and not to exercise regularly, but they are still the victim, right?
It seems to me like a psychological head fuck, finding it easier by playing victim because they can’t apply changes within them selfs.
Then there’s………..
Rumors start, experiencing them myself, putting it bluntly, they think you have an eating disorder.
Truth being, I most likely eat more than they do, just healthier, combined with regular exercise.
You’re made to feel like you have done something wrong.
Then you have to pinch yourself and realise you made that choice, to a better healthier lifestyle.
Just how are they the victim, when all you have done was correct?
Exactly my point, serving it in a more blunt manner, it’s easier to feel like a victim, rather than take action.
People see what they want to see:
Outside picture to one, does not necessarily portray the same as to what is happening inside.
Slim, being bigger we all have demons, some can control, whilst others find it hard and place their focus on others to avoid theirs.
In the eyes of bigger women, it is a typical stereotype to assume slimmer women gets it all.
That slimmer women could really hate herself not seeing what others see.
Reverse it round from a slimmer women’s view how they look at bigger women.
A stereotype, answer would be she scoff herself with fatty foods, not realising she might have medical conditions, such as an underactive thyroid.
However, women who post inspirational quotes on social media, who are larger themselves, I say go, girl!
You ladies are proud of your size and you should be. You realise this makes you happy and you’re spreading the word.
Just like women who have worked their butts to get their physique post pictures on social media, it makes them happy they are proud and have worked for it.
My point is this, being bigger or smaller, no one should be feeling like they have to play the sympathy card.
I would suggest all women of all sizes come together, the stories and your experiences could actually inspire another.
Life is too short, don’t live it by being judgemental and negative all the time. Live life as you mean to gain happiness
HelenaPhil-Fitness
#TheCommonSenseCoach