In my last blog, I wrote about the importance of competing with yourself. In this blog, I am going to talk more about loving you.
We have all heard that old saying ‘love yourself before you can love others’. Is it really true?
My experience on this subject:
I knew one thing for sure the things I loved to do, people I loved. I must love myself, right?
You would think that; But yet I was not showing love to myself; if anything disgust.
I just saw a 15 stone person, I hated the sight of so much I would cringe if a mirror was near.
Talking about mirrors, did I mention it took me over a year to fully view my whole body in one?
I remember thinking to myself, I can love others and stuff I enjoy doing but couldn’t love me.
The universe has a way of connecting you with people, in my case I meet my friend Marie, emotionally cold as ice.
With me, Marie never showed me her emotions but was a loyal friend that was enough for me.
There no surprise that we are still friends after 20 years and going strong.
Marie was emotionally dysfunctional, due to her upbringing, never showing her emotions gave birth.
I remember going to visit her after 3 days of giving birth to her adorable daughter. Just the look on her face she had found love.
She was gleaming with joy at the fact she had become a mother and it certainly showed.
But with her partner, showed him no love, due to this he was having numerous affairs; she knew, quite frankly she really didn’t give a shit!
Remember thinking why the hell are you with someone that you don’t even love, let alone have a child with?
Her daughter, now a beautiful 18-year-old, is one of the most loving people I know, thanks to Marie unconditional love.
One day I meet up for a coffee with Marie, I couldn’t help bringing up the subject of her cold feelings before she had Mia.
I knew her upbringing was not the greatest, but what I didn’t know she had been sexually abused when she was 13.
She wasn’t just physically abuse, but also mentally:
Her abuser was a highly respected member of her family who came from a good background and was well respected.
Having no one to speak to, lead to my friend believing for years, that she was at fault.
Marie was made to feel that she created the situation and asked for it.
Her mother was the same, lacking in the emotional side, my friend recalled how much she despised her coldness.
Both were with partners they didn’t love, but unlike her mother, she realised this and eventually parted her ways.
My mother never noticed that I would not smile anymore, not engaging with other children my age.
I wish my mum was more approachable. Felt trap and couldn’t trust anyone, let alone myself.
I don’t want to be like my mother:
Yet for years my friend become just like her mother, showing little if no emotion towards people around her.
Only when she gave birth to Mia, she knew from that moment she would never bring her up to be cold with emotions.
‘The thought of my little girl not been able to talk to me, knowing how much I love her if there was a problem I want to be there’.
You guessed it, love took over and my friend was able to experience the meaning of love, as well as leading a life.
Everyone has life experiences:
You probably thinking, why the hell did I just mention that, when this blog is to do with loving you right?
My point is love has a way of uplifting the soul, everyone has a story to tell. Some have pleasant experiences and some not.
By all means, I was not stating that having a baby would change how you feel. It was my friend’s story and her journey to experiencing love.
Me, I wasn’t happy with what was staring me back, but like Marie, we found our solutions to the path of love.
Just think, if you are able to love others and realise what makes you happy.
You are able to direct that love on the things that make you happy, think about it.
Try this every day:
- Wake up and look in the mirror and say I love you.
- Look after yourself by eating & exercising regular realsing endorphins combat stress.
- Keep away from negative people that have nothing nice to say.
- Read uplifting spiritual books.
- Give Yoga a try and meditation.
- Keep saying I love you to you.