If you’re having mental health problems, you’re not alone.
One in four of us will have problems with our mental health at some time in our lives.
This could be in the form of a Bereavement, breaking up from a relationship, stresses of work, money issues.
The lists go on and on, with some people coping better than others and some that just can’t win the battle.
I have to confess I have been there myself in the past having to deal with health issues, so I deeply understand this subject all too well.
In my experience, some people’s depression shows, but the worrying factors are when they don’t show.
People will assume you are alright because you look well on the outside, but inside tells another tale.
Behind closed doors, no one knows what your thinking but you and you feel alone!
I won’t bore you with my tale tells of my experiences of having depression.
But I can tell you this it has made me the person I am today.
However, I will share the positive aspects of my experience.
I discovered I was my own rescue and didn’t need anyone’s approval but my own.
It’s so easy to be drawn into that dark place, it’s how you become of it that matters.
At the time I had pretty shitty people around me, though one or two that had my back and a job I loafed. Basically, I didn’t like myself.
Relationships never lasted, a lot of the time it was down to the choices of men I chose and the vibes I was releasing.
When I thought I found Mr. Right, well let’s just say he was a disappointment.
To be honest I hated myself so much I was repulsed by the sight of seeing myself in the mirror.
I was well overweight and just hated the skin I lived in. I thought I never deserved happiness.
Looking back now and having to go through this:
I honestly believe things happen for a reason, in my case, it was very true.
I conditioned myself into believing I was unworthy of any good. This just made me cold in every aspect of my life.
I didn’t get physically abused, but mentally I was a victim and yes mainly from my family, who didn’t realised they were doing this to me.
This just made me cold in every aspect of my life that I actually believed I was unworthy.
That dark place I was living and breathing in, in my mind was my existence and to be honest I knew no better.
Alright, it didn’t help having shitty health to deal with and yes for me it was tough at the time.
But it was only when I stepped back and realised this place of darkness that I had taken residence in.
This was the moment I realised only me and me can vacate and permanently from this dark place of residents.
Just taking a step back and remembering the things that made me happy, unable myself to believe I didn’t need to be here.
I had lost touch with my creative side and the things I used to love, my social life had gone down the drain.
I realised I had replaced it with negativity and partying, smoking and drinking just wasn’t the way.
Everyone is different, but I can only go on what serves me and makes me that better version of myself.
When I gave myself a break, I realised more people were drawn to me that were more positive and inspiring.
I spoke with others that had experienced mental health/depression and listen to their stories.
Through doing this, my worries seemed less than there’s.
I have always been a spiritual soul, I just became deeper with thought leading to myself being more in tune.
Suddenly there was a glimpse of feeling that there was an escape from that dark place and my worries seemed less.
This was my breaking point to helping myself and believing that life can be beautiful again.
I began becoming more in tune with the world and what served its purpose and what didn’t.
The best bit was learning to love myself and taking back the control I always had within me.
By this time, I went from being fat to awfully thin and knew I had to take control and that’s exactly what I did.
The feeling was good, in fact, it was better than drinking, partying and smoking crap.
For me, it was a new beginning to becoming the best possible version of me.
It sounds airy-fairy I know, but the truth is this if you don’t help yourself no one will do it for you.
Enough about me, in my next blog I will be going in deeper with mental health depression and how you can help you!
For now be blessed life is beautiful!